Self employed and LONELY
Being self employed is kinda cool huh..... we generally do something we love....so we don't normally mind if we have to work late or end up doing admin on the weekend (although we do a bit, let's not lie 🤣). Doing something we find so fulfilling makes up for the fact that we get bugger all pension, no sick pay and definitely no holiday pay...... but that's not what this is about.
Being self employed and generally working on your own can be lonely. Don't get me wrong, there's no-one I want to strangle near the water cooler, I love every single one of my clients, there's no idiot to complain to personnel because I told them they needed a punch in the chops. BUT sometimes it does feel a little isolated. I miss the banter, someone threatening me with a jam slam (don't ask) for not getting my work done on time, the after work drinks and the lunch trips to Tesco to slag off the boss.
Of course we make plans with our fellow self employed folk for brunch and lunch and coffees but then it's back to our solo expedition for the rest of our 9 hour admin day.
I'm gonna level with you, I've been doing it for five years and just in the last year I can honestly say it's got a bit much. I used to have a truck load of friends I'd see in different dance rehearsals which meant I still had that work banter, but I don't dance anymore....... so it's just a whole lot of time on my own. And don't get me wrong, I find myself really fun, extra..... but there's only so long you can laugh at your own jokes before you start to go a little cray cray.
So as of today I am officially sitting on the reception desk of a martial arts gym a couple of morning's a week so that I can have social contact with some other humans.... and one's that won't faint if I accidentally drop the F bomb mid conversation about the weather. And I am really excited about it.
When getting a part time job first crossed my mind I got a bit sad at myself. It was as if I was taking a step back when I'd worked so hard not to need anyone else apart from myself. Truth is that shit doesn't matter. That's just the ego talking, the arrogance of a self-employed person thinking that what they do is somehow better than someone who is employed. The thing is neither is better. It's just about what is right for you and that can change at any given time.... it's like a relationship. Sometimes what you needed 5 years ago isn't what you are after now. You have to roll with the punches. This is what I need right here, right now...... to give me the change I'm after, for me, for my mental health and to bring some balance to my week.
I guess what I'm trying to say is..... don't let your own ego hold you back from doing something that will make you happy. Whether it's teaching at gyms, going self employed, working for someone else, trying a new project..... needs, wants and goals are forever changing and it's ok for those things to be based around happiness rather than simply success or belongings.
We spend so much of our lives working, let's get the benefits we need whatever those may be (I'm not just talking about the dollar dollar bills yo) to stay as positive as we can through our delightfully long working week!